Relationships are the ultimate mirrors: we experience ourselves through others and their responses to us. Romantic relationships mirror our deepest experiences of ourselves, sometimes for better; other times for worse.
For that reason, every spouse is a soulmate. Show me a person's choice for life partner, and I will show you who that person is (not necessarily who they would like to be or think they are).
A good relationship is one in which each partner is proud to accept the implications of the theory. A bad relationship is one in which partners cannot bear what they see in each other's mirrors.
Successful relationships reflect values and strengths; unsuccessful ones reflect needs and deficits. The least successful ones reflect unacknowledged needs and deficits.
When a partner grows, solid relationships celebrate and flourish. Fragile ones are threatened. Successful relationships grow together; unsuccessful ones grow apart.
More:
The Devon Principle
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The Devon Principle
